you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
