Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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