question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
