real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
