just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
