They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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