Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
