i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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