the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
