i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
