Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The air taste purple.
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