wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
