Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
