Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
