I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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