You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
