How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
