it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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