worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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