you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
