Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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