The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
