Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
