Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
