So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
