She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
is that a dick in a sweater?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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