eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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