Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
