You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize