her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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