just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
