Duck Duck Cougar?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
