Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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