you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
