Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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