If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
