i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
