Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
