Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
