Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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