I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
