My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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