and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
