I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
