she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize