Your face is a jimmy john
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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