Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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