we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
