Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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