I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
