any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
