Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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