is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
