i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
