I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
