Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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