to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
