Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He did a backflip because drugs
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
