Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
