I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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