Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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