How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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