i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
