I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
