It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
