It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize