Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize